Heroes in the Home

On Wednesday I witnessed a wonderful thing. Well, two or three wonderful things, to be exact. I was at a Heroes in the Home awards ceremony, the first I’d ever attended, watching as wonderful people had their nomination letters read while they received a handshake and a gift from CCAC-Oxford. For the uninitiated, CCAC represents Community Care Access Centre, a blanket organization that oversees homecare and many other health oriented issues. My brother, Wayne, is Board Chair at this time, having spent many years working quietly to improve healthcare in the county.

I knew that my sister-in-law and her daughter were each going to receive a Community Caregiver Award and wanted to be there. Of course these awards attest to their care of my brother, Ross, through the months he lay dying at home. I have already described their love and devotion to every detail as humbling to watch, so that watching them be honored was my next step in the process of being there for Ross’ family. As I watched Tracy mount the platform and work to keep control of her emotions my wet eyes told of my thoughts of her care for her stepfather, how calm she was, how careful to move him just exactly right, how thoughtful she was in finding ways to make his days better and how she leaned over his hospital-type bed, both arms around his head, stroking his hair, brushing away imaginary and real things as though she could brush away the illness that was inside his head, robbing him of life. She became my hero forever.

Next Donna mounted the small dais, stood calmly, small and quiet, her enigmatic smile belying the huge heart beating inside her. She has lost two husbands now, yet still forges on. Throughout Ross’ illness, I was amazed at Donna’s ability to put her own problems aside, to reduce her own medication so that she would be awake if Ross needed her in the night. She arranged first of all to have a contraption attached to their bed so that he could still pull himself up and get out of bed. She rented a stair elevator so that he could still get upstairs to sit in their living room. When those were no longer viable, she turned their bedroom into a lovely haven for Ross. His TV was high in the corner so he could watch it whenever he wanted. She brought in pictures of his many exploits figure skating, flying, having family fun. Everywhere I looked there was something positive to remind us all of Ross, larger than life. For him, she held back her tears. She was exhausted but still she nursed him lovingly and with true dedication.

As she stood on the stage I could see this was a strain for her but she bravely stood, shook the hand of the presenter, collected her award, and with great dignity took her seat again. Such a small person carrying so large a load. Another hero.

Of course I have only mentioned two of the twenty-three heroes in the home who were honored. The stories of each were just as moving, just as full of love. From the caregiver of a happy little girl with two leg braces and no speech to the virtually blind old woman caring for her ill husband in their home, the stories were amazing. People really do rise up and take the burdens they are given.

Finally, after all the awards on the program, there was one final one. This was a special plaque presented to the person who had initiated these awards six years ago, my brother Wayne. He was surprised as his name was called. He moved to the stage and quietly smiled his pleasure as the presenter told of Wayne’s contributions in warm words, words that he had to cut short as he became too emotional to carry on. Wayne has made his mark with people.

After the event pictures were taken of the recipients and then of those of our family who were there to honour Donna and Tracy, and Wayne. Reporters took Donna and Tracy into a corner and interviewed them for about 15 minutes, during which I had a chance to personally thank the wonderful speaker, Eleanor L. Wood. Her message was about positive thinking and she delivered it with great humour and meaningful anecdotes. As I drove away my heart was saddened again at losing Ross but gladdened by all the love I had witnessed the past two hours. People really do rise up to shoulder the burdens thrust upon them and thus become Heroes in the Home.