I Really Must Try Stopping It...

Sometimes I despair of ever being able to stick to my goals. Oh, I know that's a negative thought and I am mostly a positive person, but, really. I get frustrated with myself. I so want to be the person I am in my dreams. What do I mean?

Just now I am struggling in so many ways. Today is Weight Watchers and I have to weigh in once again and I know I haven't stuck to the plan--which is very good--for the last week. I want to, I try to, and then I just forget about the whole thing and scarf down half a bowl of honey-covered peanuts. Last night, thankfully, my husband took them away from me, as I had asked in one of our food conversations.

Eating isn't the only place where my will power turns into won't. I have been planning to finish a little sweater for my sweet granddaughter since the summer time. Well, actually since last March when her mother and I bought the buttons in Victoria's lovely little button shop. All I have to do is finish the last ribbed edge and sew on the buttons. The sweater is all put together except for that. Yet there it sits.

Every day I plan to do more editing of my manuscript in preparation for getting it published. I have wonderful friends who are reading and commenting and each time I receive their emails I think about how I'm falling behind on my end. And yet, I want to get this done so badly that I lie awake nights thinking about getting it published. I visualize myself getting the acceptance letter. I see my title finally decided and on the dust jacket. I feel the glow of pride in a job well done. But in the daytime I procrastinate.

One of my roomies from university, oh, so many years ago, had a sign on her wall that has stayed with me. Procrastination is my fault, it brings me endless sorrow. I really must try stopping it; in fact, I'll start tomorrow. I think of it and laugh, yet see myself.

And housework! Don't even get me started! I never met a broom I couldn't ignore, a layer of dust I couldn't avoid or a vacuum I couldn't use for a clothes horse.

The thing is, eventually I get everything done but not before hours, days, months of I shoulds. Well, it's time to give myself some positive self talk (see, I've read all the how-to stuff!) and do something. Anything. Just get up and get going. Well......maybe after I play another game of MahJong.