On Tuesday, I wrote about my dread of weighing in at Weight Watchers but I made myself go anyhow. Guess what? I was down a pound. One tiny step closer to my goal. Now this just goes to show that I need to trust myself and not be second guessing all the time. How many of us get caught doing the same thing?
We think that quiet and serious person over there who never cracks a smile has something wrong in her character or doesn't like us. She is so aloof that we wonder what she is thinking. And then when we finally get to know her we find she's really quite a nice person. Not aloof at all, just different. She is shy and takes a while to warm up to people. I have a saying that I read somewhere and adopted as my own. "I don't like that person. I have to get to know her better."
Someone sends us an email which reads pretty sharp and we think they are angry with us. Later we find out they just don't realize how cold email can be and they really didn't mean to convey angry thought at all. A few years ago a family member for months sent all his emails in caps until I told him that was shouting in email language. He never did that again. He just didn't know how we were perceiving his messages.
At this time of year, Christmas, there are many messages both phone and email, which go back and forth between my husband, my daughter and my son and I am not part of them. For years I felt a little left out until I finally realized they are planning something for me! Now I just smile and let them do their plotting, secure in the knowledge that they have something good in mind.
And now I must set about my day. First thing is to plan healthy, nutritious meals so that I won't be so worried come Tuesday and I will have left a tiny bit of myself somewhere else, not on the scales!
Friday, November 28, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
I Really Must Try Stopping It...
Sometimes I despair of ever being able to stick to my goals. Oh, I know that's a negative thought and I am mostly a positive person, but, really. I get frustrated with myself. I so want to be the person I am in my dreams. What do I mean?
Just now I am struggling in so many ways. Today is Weight Watchers and I have to weigh in once again and I know I haven't stuck to the plan--which is very good--for the last week. I want to, I try to, and then I just forget about the whole thing and scarf down half a bowl of honey-covered peanuts. Last night, thankfully, my husband took them away from me, as I had asked in one of our food conversations.
Eating isn't the only place where my will power turns into won't. I have been planning to finish a little sweater for my sweet granddaughter since the summer time. Well, actually since last March when her mother and I bought the buttons in Victoria's lovely little button shop. All I have to do is finish the last ribbed edge and sew on the buttons. The sweater is all put together except for that. Yet there it sits.
Every day I plan to do more editing of my manuscript in preparation for getting it published. I have wonderful friends who are reading and commenting and each time I receive their emails I think about how I'm falling behind on my end. And yet, I want to get this done so badly that I lie awake nights thinking about getting it published. I visualize myself getting the acceptance letter. I see my title finally decided and on the dust jacket. I feel the glow of pride in a job well done. But in the daytime I procrastinate.
One of my roomies from university, oh, so many years ago, had a sign on her wall that has stayed with me. Procrastination is my fault, it brings me endless sorrow. I really must try stopping it; in fact, I'll start tomorrow. I think of it and laugh, yet see myself.
And housework! Don't even get me started! I never met a broom I couldn't ignore, a layer of dust I couldn't avoid or a vacuum I couldn't use for a clothes horse.
The thing is, eventually I get everything done but not before hours, days, months of I shoulds. Well, it's time to give myself some positive self talk (see, I've read all the how-to stuff!) and do something. Anything. Just get up and get going. Well......maybe after I play another game of MahJong.
Just now I am struggling in so many ways. Today is Weight Watchers and I have to weigh in once again and I know I haven't stuck to the plan--which is very good--for the last week. I want to, I try to, and then I just forget about the whole thing and scarf down half a bowl of honey-covered peanuts. Last night, thankfully, my husband took them away from me, as I had asked in one of our food conversations.
Eating isn't the only place where my will power turns into won't. I have been planning to finish a little sweater for my sweet granddaughter since the summer time. Well, actually since last March when her mother and I bought the buttons in Victoria's lovely little button shop. All I have to do is finish the last ribbed edge and sew on the buttons. The sweater is all put together except for that. Yet there it sits.
Every day I plan to do more editing of my manuscript in preparation for getting it published. I have wonderful friends who are reading and commenting and each time I receive their emails I think about how I'm falling behind on my end. And yet, I want to get this done so badly that I lie awake nights thinking about getting it published. I visualize myself getting the acceptance letter. I see my title finally decided and on the dust jacket. I feel the glow of pride in a job well done. But in the daytime I procrastinate.
One of my roomies from university, oh, so many years ago, had a sign on her wall that has stayed with me. Procrastination is my fault, it brings me endless sorrow. I really must try stopping it; in fact, I'll start tomorrow. I think of it and laugh, yet see myself.
And housework! Don't even get me started! I never met a broom I couldn't ignore, a layer of dust I couldn't avoid or a vacuum I couldn't use for a clothes horse.
The thing is, eventually I get everything done but not before hours, days, months of I shoulds. Well, it's time to give myself some positive self talk (see, I've read all the how-to stuff!) and do something. Anything. Just get up and get going. Well......maybe after I play another game of MahJong.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Doin' the Christmas Thing
Tis the season for getting excited about Christmas and this year we are really ready for it. So many new things to celebrate and old friends and family to celebrate with. Nature has hopped right on the bandwagon with a wintry wonderland out every window. I love it now but by March I know I'll be ready to taste spring.
Last week I made my carrot pudding, a family tradition from my childhood, and baked our usual dark Christmas cake. Of course we have already eaten a quarter of it. Just couldn't resist. The rest I have cooling and percolating out in the garage. This cake is better made ahead and left to age. Say, maybe that's the way it is with people. Now that I'm not so young, I tend to think so.
A few years ago I was smitten with the usual Christmas euphoria on the day I started my baking and a song just jumped into my mind. "Oh, I'm doin' the Christmas thing, doing the wonderful Christmas thing..." I ran to the piano, played it to get the key, and madly wrote the notes on some manuscript paper. As I worked on the Christmas cake, words just flowed and I made many trips to the piano. Amazingly the cake didn't suffer and the song grew. The next day I was singing at a church event and sang this joyful song even though I didn't have any of the parts done and had nothing written for my accompanist. I sang it a cappella and the ladies loved it. I was transported back to my wonderful childhood. Hopefully it will evoke similar memories for you.
Last week I made my carrot pudding, a family tradition from my childhood, and baked our usual dark Christmas cake. Of course we have already eaten a quarter of it. Just couldn't resist. The rest I have cooling and percolating out in the garage. This cake is better made ahead and left to age. Say, maybe that's the way it is with people. Now that I'm not so young, I tend to think so.
A few years ago I was smitten with the usual Christmas euphoria on the day I started my baking and a song just jumped into my mind. "Oh, I'm doin' the Christmas thing, doing the wonderful Christmas thing..." I ran to the piano, played it to get the key, and madly wrote the notes on some manuscript paper. As I worked on the Christmas cake, words just flowed and I made many trips to the piano. Amazingly the cake didn't suffer and the song grew. The next day I was singing at a church event and sang this joyful song even though I didn't have any of the parts done and had nothing written for my accompanist. I sang it a cappella and the ladies loved it. I was transported back to my wonderful childhood. Hopefully it will evoke similar memories for you.
Maybe I'll try to figure out how to record it so you can all listen to it online. Meanwhile enjoy the words, print it out and play/sing it, whatever you like. (Just remember it's mine.)
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Snowy November
This is a very unusual November. Usually we don't get snow of any account here in Ontario until December and often not much until January. I can remember many a year hoping for a white Christmas and not getting it. But the last couple of years have been snowy. So much for the planet warming up!
On Friday snow was falling all around. You can see the flakes if you look closely above our forlorn picnic table which hadn't quite made it inside with the rest of the summer furniture.
On Friday snow was falling all around. You can see the flakes if you look closely above our forlorn picnic table which hadn't quite made it inside with the rest of the summer furniture.
My teddy bear on the front door is drooping sadly from last year's snow. Time to do something to spruce him up!
Across the street the shelter for the mailboxes sits, empty and useless, while beside it the mailboxes still wait to be moved. Took months to get the shelter built, guess it'll be spring before we actually get to use it.
And on the back deck our useless barbecue waits for better times. (i.e. warmer) We never did get it running this summer. I think it is on its way to the dump.
But inside, cosy and cuddly warm, I wrap presents and put them under the tree, anxious to be ready for our first Christmas celebration on the first Sunday in December. Oh, I'm doin' the Christmas thing.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
My Latest Read
Although I am a devoted and diligent reader, I rarely write about my books here. Today is an exception. While I have read most of Colleen McCullough's works--not all, regrettably--the latest was perhaps the most fun. The Independence of Miss Mary Bennett brought back the pleasures of Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility, Jane Austen's triumphs known to so many of us.
In her book McCullough takes us twenty years after the courtship of Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy to a less-than-perfect domestic scene. The Darcy's are struggling with their relationship, Jane has had far too many pregnancies for her health, and Miss Mary Bennet is suddenly freed of her burden after caring for her mother all these years.
The story is a good length--467 pages--and I was delighted the whole time. Talk about an interesting mix! McCullough's writing and the Bennet sisters' interesting personalities, all wrapped up in the social mores of the times. This was a lot of fun, not the best read I've ever had, but great fun. Good for you, Colleen McCullough!
Oh, and I got it at Costco for a fraction of the price listed on the cover. :-)
Today, A Little Chuckle
Remember last year's Christmas tree? This year I was adamant that we would have a perfect REPLICA of a Christmas tree, rather than the real thing. You can see why. And you may even remember last year's sad post.
I have, therefore, decided to show you the sequel. First I'll show you a close up of the beautiful branches which look for all the world like fresh ones. Also, notice the brand spanking new tree skirt, first one I've ever bought. (Who says we get staid as we get older?)
And here's the tree itself all gorgeous and wonderful.
So wonderful I've shown a different angle. Ah, Christmas. Never mind that it is way too early.
And, finally, here is one of the tables from our Jewelry Show and Sale last Saturday. Of course you had to be here to see how these all looked up close.
And the connection here? I wanted to do some Christmas decorating for the Jewelry Show and Sale so put up my tree on November 2, a personal record for getting it up early. The strange thing is, we've really been enjoying it. Next week I'll probably put up the rest of the decorations so that we can smile happily until we go to Victoria for our first Christmas with our granddaughter. All sounds so good. Have to go make my list for Christmas cake and carrot pudding ingredients!
I have, therefore, decided to show you the sequel. First I'll show you a close up of the beautiful branches which look for all the world like fresh ones. Also, notice the brand spanking new tree skirt, first one I've ever bought. (Who says we get staid as we get older?)
And here's the tree itself all gorgeous and wonderful.
So wonderful I've shown a different angle. Ah, Christmas. Never mind that it is way too early.
And, finally, here is one of the tables from our Jewelry Show and Sale last Saturday. Of course you had to be here to see how these all looked up close. And the connection here? I wanted to do some Christmas decorating for the Jewelry Show and Sale so put up my tree on November 2, a personal record for getting it up early. The strange thing is, we've really been enjoying it. Next week I'll probably put up the rest of the decorations so that we can smile happily until we go to Victoria for our first Christmas with our granddaughter. All sounds so good. Have to go make my list for Christmas cake and carrot pudding ingredients!
Monday, November 10, 2008
A Pittance of Time
One of my oldest friends sent me this link and I want to share it with the world since tomorrow is Remembrance Day. Turn on your sound.
Yesterday was the yearly church Remembrance Day Service in our new church and I can only remember one other time being so moved by Remembrance Day. I was in high school, with 1100 other students, dressed in my cadet uniform, lining the pristine halls as we faced the Remembrance plaques and the flags which always took centre position outside the main office. We stood absolutely silent and listened to the scriptures, the prayers, the trumpet sounds and the words of remembrance. I thought of my uncle Frank, and in my heart I finally realized what he had relinquished with his life when he was blown out of that fox hole in Italy before I was born.
And I felt the tears start.
Yesterday those tears came again as I took part in the music at church. The hymns have never seemed so meaningful. Our anthem was inspiring to sing. The organist's offertory was a medley of well chosen message songs, which he played by ear. Everyone in the sanctuary wore red, some more, some less, but all proudly displayed the poppy. My young nephew and another teenager read John McCrae's In Flanders Fields. And the sermon was a video which told of the 180 kilometers from Trenton Air Force Base to Toronto where our soldiers who have fallen in Afghanistan take their final journey--with their families--along Highway 401, Canada's Highway of Heroes(For those who don't know, this is the main highway which threads across Ontario, this small section of which has been named the Highway of Heroes.) In Toronto, the soldiers' bodies are autopsied and then released to their waiting families.
This video told of the fifty overpasses along that stretch of highway, each one loaded with Canadians and Canadian flags paying tribute to the soldiers. We saw fire trucks, stopped on the bridges above with firemen standing on top, saluting the sad parage below. We saw single persons standing still and alone in honour of their fallen countrymen and women. We saw police cars parked at the side of 401, their officers standing alongside at attention.
And all of this takes a long time. It is over 180 kilometers to reach Toronto. The nation's traffic stops and waits, and pays tribute to Canada's heroes every time the bodies return home. We, as a nation, have now made the transition from being the post war peacekeepers of the world to warriors once again winning and losing on the world's battlefields. And whether we agree or disagree with Canada's role in Afghanistan, we stop and we pay tribute to those who have stepped up to help the rest of the world.
Tomorrow, take a pittance of time and remember.
Yesterday was the yearly church Remembrance Day Service in our new church and I can only remember one other time being so moved by Remembrance Day. I was in high school, with 1100 other students, dressed in my cadet uniform, lining the pristine halls as we faced the Remembrance plaques and the flags which always took centre position outside the main office. We stood absolutely silent and listened to the scriptures, the prayers, the trumpet sounds and the words of remembrance. I thought of my uncle Frank, and in my heart I finally realized what he had relinquished with his life when he was blown out of that fox hole in Italy before I was born.
And I felt the tears start.
Yesterday those tears came again as I took part in the music at church. The hymns have never seemed so meaningful. Our anthem was inspiring to sing. The organist's offertory was a medley of well chosen message songs, which he played by ear. Everyone in the sanctuary wore red, some more, some less, but all proudly displayed the poppy. My young nephew and another teenager read John McCrae's In Flanders Fields. And the sermon was a video which told of the 180 kilometers from Trenton Air Force Base to Toronto where our soldiers who have fallen in Afghanistan take their final journey--with their families--along Highway 401, Canada's Highway of Heroes(For those who don't know, this is the main highway which threads across Ontario, this small section of which has been named the Highway of Heroes.) In Toronto, the soldiers' bodies are autopsied and then released to their waiting families.
This video told of the fifty overpasses along that stretch of highway, each one loaded with Canadians and Canadian flags paying tribute to the soldiers. We saw fire trucks, stopped on the bridges above with firemen standing on top, saluting the sad parage below. We saw single persons standing still and alone in honour of their fallen countrymen and women. We saw police cars parked at the side of 401, their officers standing alongside at attention.
And all of this takes a long time. It is over 180 kilometers to reach Toronto. The nation's traffic stops and waits, and pays tribute to Canada's heroes every time the bodies return home. We, as a nation, have now made the transition from being the post war peacekeepers of the world to warriors once again winning and losing on the world's battlefields. And whether we agree or disagree with Canada's role in Afghanistan, we stop and we pay tribute to those who have stepped up to help the rest of the world.
Tomorrow, take a pittance of time and remember.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Nature's Photo Shop
Today I am tired of looking at my last post as it comes up to my homepage, so I have decided to post some pictures from last July, just to have something nice to look at. The first four are from a park in Cambridge where my husband and I had a lovely picnic last summer.
We have lots of memories of this park from our younger days and going there was fun, except for the goose dirt all over the riverside. We had a tough time finding a place to spread our food.
I like tree trunks and taking pictures from different angles. The various barks are so interesting!
And this picture reminds me of two surprising things about our new condo: one is the water outlet is about 8 inches above the ground, just waiting for someone to trip over it and the other is the yellow ooze which appeared one morning. It is the consistency of scrambled eggs, has no odor, and grew to be about the size of a luncheon plate. After asking many people about it we still are no closer to learning what it is. This phenomenon happened twice but we haven't seen it since. Any ideas?
I guess nature has the bad with the good sometimes.
We have lots of memories of this park from our younger days and going there was fun, except for the goose dirt all over the riverside. We had a tough time finding a place to spread our food.
I like tree trunks and taking pictures from different angles. The various barks are so interesting!
And this picture reminds me of two surprising things about our new condo: one is the water outlet is about 8 inches above the ground, just waiting for someone to trip over it and the other is the yellow ooze which appeared one morning. It is the consistency of scrambled eggs, has no odor, and grew to be about the size of a luncheon plate. After asking many people about it we still are no closer to learning what it is. This phenomenon happened twice but we haven't seen it since. Any ideas?
I guess nature has the bad with the good sometimes.
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