Today I Must Do It

What can you do when someone you love has a terrible disease and refuses to admit to it? When she goes to great lengths to hide it? When her many talents are drowned in a flood of booze so that she risks her life, her love and, most of all, her children all for the taste of alcohol? I wish I knew.

Last night I was awake for two hours in the night pondering this question and I felt first hand the helplessness when a loved one is locked in the gripping vise of an addiction. Oh, yes, I've seen it all on Dr. Phil and commiserated with those telling their stories, but never have I really understood it till now. This summer I have finally admitted to myself that the problem is very serious and that something has to be done. The alcoholic--yes, she is an alcoholic--refuses to admit she has a problem. Maybe if I can say the word she will be able to and move on with helping herself.

In the two hours I lay awake last night listening to the comforting breathing of hubby beside me, I realized that tough though it will be, I have to tell this sweet person what I think. I have to come out of the closet. I can no longer be part of the problem, as I have realized my silence makes me. Even though I am frightened to do this and don't have the energy--she is really scary and nasty when she is drinking and anyone crosses her--I know I must, for her sake but mostly for her children. They need their mother and I must do what I can to help her find her way back to them.

So today, whether you are a believer or not, say a prayer for me, but mostly say a prayer for her. Please. Maybe with all our good thoughts she will find the strength to get clean.